19.11.07

some random chat

[thegeekinpink] says (10:56 PM):
i need chocolates and so do you!!!!
[thegeekinpink] says (10:56 PM):
do you think sheep can eat chocolates kah?
[thegeekinpink] says (10:56 PM):
do you think you can name all the sheep you have to look after?
[thegeekinpink] says (10:56 PM):
i give you some names!!! AND THEN YOU CAN REMEMBER ME!!!!
[thegeekinpink] says (10:56 PM):
1. CUCUK
2. SAYA
3. DI
4. BAWAH
5. SANA
[thegeekinpink] says (10:56 PM):
see
[thegeekinpink] says (10:56 PM):
5 names for 5 sheep!!!
[thegeekinpink] says (10:56 PM):
better you place them in the proper row
[thegeekinpink] says (10:57 PM):
later you call like BAWAH DI SANA CUCUK SAYA
[thegeekinpink] says (10:57 PM):
WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA
[thegeekinpink] just sent you a nudge.
- c a l v - give me the strength to believe says (11:00 PM):
..................
- c a l v - give me the strength to believe says (11:00 PM):
WTF

18.11.07

looking for a partner

needs a travelling partner to NZ: first stop Auckland
period of stay: 6 months (on Working Holiday Visa)
will cover North and slowly down South island. trip begins in January 2008.
might stop by Sydney for 3 days before heading to Auckland.

email me for more info if u are interested: calkho@gmail.com

p/s: would be nice if she's a jap/korean! LOL jk! help spread the news pls! = ) cheers!

15.11.07

there i go again . . .

maybe it was all a false alarm. today, i feel like i was all alone again. haha back to square one. those were the months where i spent watching movie alone. having dinner alone. watching ppl walking by while i try to chew on my meal. it doesn't hurt to be alone. just that from the start, i never like to be alone. on the contrary side, i don't like having too much ppl around cos more than one person means everyone wants a piece of everything. that, i don't really like. example, when u know u want to watch a particular movie, and on the spot, several opinions may occur. i can say no but somehow, i'm always the person who goes along with the majority. its not like its bad or what. there goes the saying, if u can't beat em', might as well join 'em! haha i get effing emo when i'm alone. sometimes it feels like the longest ride ever when i'm driving by myself!
that person which i missed all this while, somehow i contacted her back. i know its not a good idea but spare me the bullets. can we stop loving a person? do we ever? or because we have been parted for some time and meet a new love, do we ever stop loving that person? or its just another different kind of love altogether? love just too complicated to comprehend...
maybe when i finally found love, i will tell u. how it feels like to be love unconditionally? hahaha ok ok i'm listening to too much mushy songs and being alone all night ain't helping rofl
there's so little time so much to do before i set off to this foreign land. i wish money wasn't much of deal so i can stop worrying about how i'm gonna survive and travel at the same time. ok i feel so random tonight. good night hahahahhaa :P

11.11.07

are you in a mess?

every single one of us are in a mess, somehow. we are just too proud to admit it.
what happens when there is no one to run to. a shoulder to cry on. a hand to lift us up when we fall. i guess we just have to be strong, brush off those whatever shits that are thrown at us (not literally) and face the world again. lets face it, the world ain't always beautiful, there are days when we have bad hair days and things that just doesn't go the way we plan.
i'm not always the optimistic person that i am but i try to make the best of what i have.
sometimes ppl get me wrong. well most of the time they do.
not hoping to find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but i hope to i do find my answers from this journey.
life isn't about what ppl want of us, its what we want for ourselves, our love ones and those we treasure most.

3.11.07

lost in you

life sure is weird at times. not in a bad weird way. i know not what the future holds for me. but what i do know is the greater risk of not risking the risk. guess what? i tendered my resignation this week. i got my working holiday visa! i'll be leaving the country in less than 2 months. i can't wait. part of me feels scared and excited at the same time. what a thrill feeling!
lately, i met someone. i like to think that she's a female version of myself. carefree, somewhat laid back version of myself :P being with her, i don't need to worry about little things, or should i say she makes me feel at ease with myself and with her, i don't need to be someone i'm not. most of the time, a lot of us become someone whom the other person wants us to be without realizing that we aren't whom they want us to be. we are a whole person. we are not made of one third or half a person but a whole. i do not know how she feels about me but its okay. may be one day we will part our own ways. a new adventure begins in another time. so what? i might missed her badly or forcing myself to delete her from my memory. whatever it is. i am glad i have found someone quite similar to myself. it is not easy for someone like me (because the truth is i'm fcking anal when it comes to relationships, just ask any girls whom i dated in the past) to actually meet an ideal person or even close to our expectations. lets just leave expectations for another day now. what i mean is for us to actually found someone who shares the same desire, hope, dreams and so on...it is to me almost impossible. not that i don't believe in fairy tales or faith but from past experiences, i had almost gave up on believing that there are actually such things. who knows, may be one day, tomorrow or any phase in time, all of this will fades and what is left are just memories. memories of two of us in a far away time.