1.9.06

censored thoughts

i had no longer have privacy in this little space call internet. wait, come to think of it, starting an online blog is never private. :( i wish i can rant freely. what happen to freedom of speech? i believe in this space we are living in? uhuh...no way. shit, a lot of filtering...y la? fuhs
whatever.

wish things can slow down a weeny bit.
everything passes by so fast i can't keep up with.
not saying i hate the moments but i have no time to digest.
really.
caught in some moments.
yes emo, i'm caught in that moment now.
a lot ppl take me the wrong way.
maybe i don't wanna deal with it.
u know what they say about being ignorant is bliss?
well, maybe i am.
deal with it.
like emo said: "just do whatever u feel like doing. it's your life and u have a choice. don't do things for the sake of people. do it for yourself." - fully agree!
maybe i do need to deal with myself.
confusion. lost. angered. euphoria. distant.
seeking answers is never easy.
by now u shud know that i'm a very contradicting person.
oh yes i am.
ok...run along now!
i really need some quality sleep.
bah!

p/s: then again, this is my blog, if u don't like what u read. pls f off. i din ask for u to come here in the first place!

5 Comments:

Blogger Chienne said...

sigh. yes blogging is a very public thing, it gets harder and harder to write within the parameters of privacy. responsibility must be taken for every post made. it's easy to ask for others not to read, not to judge, not to live with their preconceived notions, but ultimately the words were scribed by the blogger.

and yet sometimes blogging's the freest form of expression.

you know... maybe a time out from your emotions is what that's needed. maybe you need to stop avoiding the issues. they become the cancer of all relationships.

and tumours do kill. you know that.

4:21 AM  
Anonymous Cynthia :) said...

hey calvin :)

hoho ur emoness sounds almost exactly like mine. when im in the mood (i do tend to hav a few moodswings, actually) n i too get really broody about the negatives of life and anything like it, and then hehe i shamelessly take it out on my blog. which ultimately proves the point that blogging is truly the freest form of expression, as what chienne has previously said. or at least, blogging would be as close as it gets. and this way, you'll actually be heard worldwide, and as opposed to being in the comfort n privacy of a personal diary whereby basically you're just talking to yourself =p

anyhoos, it was nice meeting u that nite :) i actually feel a lil ashamed tho, just meeting u guys n suddenly all my secrets' out =_=

~Cynthia.

9:30 AM  
Blogger calvism said...

rene > thats where the healing process comes in.

cynthia > actually, part of me wants opinions from others.
part of me doesn't want anyone to give any...i'm that contradicting!
i know i have the need to be heard but then again not every single opinions are valid to me :(

yes it was nice meeting u and i too felt a bit shame letting loose that nite :P *blush*

8:27 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

calv,
"i wish i can rant freely" too. *sigh*

urmph,i realised something..we both always had our emo times at the same time. yah, cos we're like the emo twins

i'm glad you remembered my words. i'm glad you took them into account :)

whatever it is, you know i'll be here to listen to you rant lah. and emo. yah, i know there were times when i missed answering your calls. i'm sorry

cheer up!

3:14 PM  
Blogger calvism said...

jul > its ok emo! thx for always sticking out for me. i'm fine :)

12:00 AM  

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