the truth is, i have been emo-ing for quite some time now. i guess love is a short lived thing. may be what they said about what happens in vegas stays in vegas is true. in my case, it's nz. i have no news what so ever about my gf for more than 1 month. and the latest email from her was she saying she was so busy she have no time to pick up my calls. 24 hours a day and really no time? or may be it is an unspoken rule for japanese hinting a break up? honestly, i've been quite numb. i tried to give thousand of reasons that she could be super busy. (the fact that she is on a snowboarding holiday in hokkaido while doing some part time job as well) may be i should stop giving her benefit of a doubt.

the truth is i miss her like hell. life goes on aight? my life is not always happening. the best time of my life is short lived. can i put this all behind me and pretend it was nothing but a mere delusion. i was happy. i was more than just happy. i thought i finally have love. or so i thought.

thank you for showing me what love feels like. to live it and truly breathe it.



Blogger CreativeBitchin said...


i might be sarcastic about shit and sound rather uncaring but... those who don't appreciate your love don't deserve it anyway. seriously.

you'll do alright. you always do, i'm sure you'll be fine again soon.

12:15 AM  
Blogger Ellen said...

Hey calv, I've heard this from somewhere.

I don't know much about love, i dabbled in it once or twice..
but it always seemed more trouble than it was worth.

I told myself i wasn't missing much but watching you all these years, how hard you've tried, how hurt you've been but you still keep getting back up, you dust yourself off, then you try again. Maybe i am missing something, maybe it is worth it... and i'm sure it's not gonna help for you to hear me say all this but you're damn heroic to me. You are. =)

4:46 PM  
Blogger The Stepster said...

sorry to hear about this. i guess we'd seen it coming. take care there aight. not all are lost!

1:39 AM  

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