Mt Hutt around early August, photo by Yukiko.

it's all so quiet now.

guess i was the first to come to this hostel and will be the last one to leave. can't imagine i had stayed here since the mid of june. it's crazy. i came to this remoted little town where posters on the walls here called them "Amazing Space". also known as Methven, Mt Hutt Village. it's a small town that almost everyone knows everyone. every skiers or riders who came here knows each other like the back of their mind. even if you don't know those riders, you have seen them on the mountain or strolling along the town area. it's really that small.

for the last few weeks, i felt like i just want to go home so badly. i lost the intention of travelling. i guess i waited too long for my visa and for once, i don't feel like i would spend my time here in a foreign country anymore.
it would be nice if i can work and play here but the thing is, there is nothing that would hold me from doing so. the currency is better compared to back home but my conscious just doesn't feel right. i ran out of reasons to stay here.
i'm low on the green notes and i am barely able to think about travelling nor anything.

i miss my family. i miss my gf. i miss my japanese friends whom been living together under this hostel for the past 3-4 months whom has already gone home. i miss malaysian food. i miss the dirty and busy crowds at mamak or wai sek kai. i miss eating dinner alone after work.

i'll be heading back to the capital soon in late november. i don't know what is awaiting me. one thing i know for sure, i will be busy when i head home. a new condo awaiting for me to be furnished. this time, my dad will follow and help me to furnish the new place. busy finding a new job or freelancing? i hate to wake up to reality.

for the last few weeks, i have been waiting patiently for any news regarding my visa. or at least return my passport to me so i can go home. i hope. i pray. please let me go home!

during this journey, i met some malaysians who came here just to do seasonal work, i suppose they want to extend longer period and stay here as long as they could. i am lucky. i live a life of a backpacker for the first 4 months. life of a snowboarder for the next 4 months! (not many people get to live this kind of dream if you are a malaysian) because we only have 6 months WHV (working holiday visa). in my case, i get 2 extra months while waiting for my visa extension to be approved.

in some ways, i can say that i am lucky but contradicting to that, i am not feeling too good as i have stayed more than i intended to. i just want to go home now. no more snowboarding (for now) and i know i will miss this lifestyle. it's back to reality for me. i need to go home. earn heaps of money for my next trip to jpn. everyday i am faced with life uncertainties. actually, that's life. everyone elses too i suppose. kaeru koto wo tanoshimi ni shiteiru.

updates: guess what? i am finally getting my passport back. not so sure if it's good news or not. i am anticipating the return of my passport some time within the next few days. all of these has to be done by many many phone calls to the immigration and faxes. now that i have a confirmation that my passport will be sent back to me, i'm not so sure about wanting to go home just yet. well, part of me still wants to stay. part of me knows that there is some responsibilities awaiting me back home. a responsibility as a man, son, and future husband? all of a sudden, i feel my shoulders getting heavier by tons.

i should tell myself to look on the brighter side of life, at least i get to snowboard for one last time tomorrow as the season finish off by labour weekend reopen on the mountain!

mt hutt, here i come charging for one last time! i am so gonna hit the powder tomorrow! save some pow for me oh dear mountain!