I feel a bit depressed the fact that I have not been able to get up the mountain since thursday. my season pass at mt hutt is only available for mid week (mon-fri). i really need to find something to do in this quiet little town. i don't know if it's just me or i'm too sensitive. i feel like my friend whom used to be closed to me has found new friends and kinda leave me aside or this particular friend of mine has always been like that. yesterday while having nothing better to do, i was walking in the town area and i bumped into this friend of mine and some other ppl i met up on the mountain. a normal reaction would be that friend would probably give u a hi or wave but that friend did not. i find it very odd. of cos i did wave to them. maybe she did not see me. maybe i'm just too sensitive. i do have some newly found friends in this town. there is heaps of ppl from my hostel. the thing is we were all quite close in the beginning. now everything seems to drift apart? maybe i have that tendency to be close to ppl whom i just met. just a bit upset and feeling neglected in some sense. maybe i'm too emo. i have not felt this way in a long time. the very last time i did feel this way was when i'm still back in my home country. the capital. big buzzling city life accompanied by this no so unfamiliar sense of loneliness. i can't help thinking and wanting to escape this feeling. this morning while flipping through some books at the hostel, i found a translated japanese book. it in, the writer seems to feel that the only way out of loneliness is through death. sounds very skeptical but sadly i found it quite true in some sense. i hate the feeling this way. never really good at it. i really wish i can get to know more ppl and maybe organize something fun to do together when we can't go up the mountain. i'm not the type of person who can sit still. i'm more of the on-the-run sort of person.
few days ago, i handed some documents to my boss as i need him to assist me with my work permit. i will wait patiently. i will also have to rent a car tomorrow or some time next week so i can go the the next town to have my X-ray scanned. it's incredibly stupid because the medical centre here told me they do full medical check up but can't do a X-ray for me? why is that? and they call themselves a medical centre?...sometimes i just don't understand. sometimes it seems very illogical.