15.10.06

in a world of misconception

i've been jinxed! internet at home has been down since friday. so u can only imagine how miserable i am without internet. its back on again today (saturday evening) thank heaven! i felt so *DISCONNECTED from the world. seriously, i mean, for me, i can't imagine my life without the internet now. checking important emails, updates from friends in forms of msn, blogs so forth...its so fast and easy. without the net, i feel so power-less.
anyways, i've been bonding with my dad since he's here on friday till now. we don't talk much but i guess its cool. i can feel him ageing. i felt like i should go back after few years later to perform my duty as a son. sis might have to marry to her bf one day which leads me, the only son, more responsibilities come with a big price tag.
i don't hate kl but...sometimes, i wish to go back to simple things and do simple things in life. simple kind of life. a gf i can just chill, get married, have childrens of my own and live old enough to see my grand childrens.
i don't know what i want with my life now. i mean. i always wanted to be an art director or a creative director but how soon? not many ppl can win awards and go into bigass agency just like that ya know. some with help from others, others struggle to be on the top on their own! i feel like i have no directions. i wish i can have a clearer picture of what i want. then to pursue it without any hesitations.
sometimes, i question myself, why i don't let ppl in my life so easily. well bcos i have in my past and they disappointed me big time. i can't just let anyone in so easily now. i'm protective of myself. maybe why i tend to shine away in most cases. i think many of u think of me as a social freak but i'm not. i don't know how to approach ppl. i'm loud but shy in some ways. ivan said i'm shy bcos i choose whom i want to be shy with. maybe but thats who i am.
sometimes i care too much what other ppl think or how they feel till the point i took myself for granted. i shouldn't. everything must have a limitation. no?

2 Comments:

Blogger Nyokk said...

it's okay to be protective of oneself because most people do due to the past. Plus, if we ever let people in into our life easily, eventually we get disappointed because many people out there nowadays take things for granted. Be happy happy ok :D

8:31 AM  
Blogger s!mp|e chery| said...

Life is actually really simple, it's just that sometimes we make it complicated.

"we don't talk much but i guess its cool"
I TOTALLY get what you mean when u say that cos at the moment my dad is finally back from india but only for 2 weeks. We have our usualy roti canai, we dont talk much but yet it feels so good to feel his persents. You know that he is there.

It is hard to let people in cos u dont want to get hurt but at times u do need to let yr guard down.

stay s!mple..

4:27 PM  

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