human emotions

is it really all so complicated? confusions clouding the mind. the heart says "i'm happy". the mind goes "i'm not sure"... hence the mixed feelings. is it the scale? i doubt it has anything to do with horoscope. but than again, u know what they say about libran, they seek for confirmation. again and again. till they seek an answer, they will not rest.

i think i'm easily bugged by little things...even the slightest. its just me.
+ something along the line of emotions: warning, long and nagging!
this morning while taking my daily dump,
{i know, its gross but somehow the thought of my baby sis came on. my real sister in life} i thought of sis. i sort of remember the trip we took during my graduation convocation last year in perth. she was the nagivator. i was the driver. we borrowed aunty theresa's{mum's friend}car to drive to the city and some other places as well. we got lost somehow. driving way off the city area. i don't know the road well enough in perth cos i never drive when i was studying there. so u know with mum and dad in the car, u can sense high intensity in the air. i was telling my sis, wth are we now? cos i can only read the road signs and she's on the road directry. the point is, i can be dead stubborn and always assuming i am right. no matter what {got that from daddy...} i was paniking and shouting at sis, fast, directions, low on gas...come on!...then i swear sis at that point lost it and shouted back something like: Stop shouting, i'm on to it! it's my first time here too ok!!? {while she looked dead serious on the road directry} somehow, we got out of the highway and back to the city after 20 minutes of aimless driving. i felt bad. really bad. cos everytime something like this happen, i am just too anal to apologize to sis and everytime she would be cool about it and always the first person to talk to me even when i feel ashame and didn't wanna talk. the point is,
she accepted me for who i am. no matter how stubborn i am. my sis always forgive me. its always been this way since we were little. i love her to bits. no doubt. if she's in trouble. i will stick out for her. no matter what.

sis was there for my graduation. stubborn bro, forgiving sis. hehe

not a lot of people can accept me for who i am cos i'm sometimes vocal, i laugh hysterically in public, i speak my mind out loud {straight forward}, i am emo, i am just me. and it bothers a lot of people sometimes. including my own friends. i guess this is why some of them hardly hang out with me anymore?

was on msn with mashie the other day, and we sorta talk about how hard it is to communicate with others while she and i communicate easily. its true that not everyone is made the same and u can't fit a SD RAM on a DDR RAM.{forgive me for the jargons} but what i'm trying to say is, i'm not those people who tries to fit into others so i can be one with the sheeps. I'm just merely happy being who i am. but sometimes i try to compromise. i'm a peace maker. i don't like wars. but thats not always the case. some people just won't quit. and sometimes i'm so dead stubborn i won't give in.

ok...i realised i talked too much about me today...sorry for the sore eyes.


Anonymous jen said...

hrm.. no worries... ur not the only person with that attitude and feelings around. :) cheers.

3:22 PM  
Blogger The J's said...

Hey bro.. no worries.. Don make it as a reason for u to feel bad about yourself.. Cos somehow we live for our own, frankly speaking.. so, u can continue to be urself and if someone just couldn;t accept you for who you are.. just ignore them cos sometimes u just hv to be like that in order to make urself happy and that's the ONE BIG REASON why we are here in this world.. To be happy... =D Chill up dude!


5:53 PM  
Blogger WeiTieng said...

dee dum dee dum =P

10:30 AM  
Blogger WeiTieng said...

let's go hit sum lollipops again!!

10:31 AM  
Blogger calvism said...

jen: i know :)

j: i'm not feeling bad. u should realise by now when i write, i always have hidden story in a story. i might not be talking out the things i'm writing. thats my style :P no worries, i'm chilling!

wt: lol whats ur plan for tonight?

3:05 PM  
Blogger こうゆうけん said...

congratulations!!! graduated already! Glad to know you have a great sister there for you! :)

4:28 PM  
Blogger calvism said...

koyuuken: thx but that was last year =P lol

5:18 PM  
Blogger WeiTieng said...

no plans ler... gotta take a break from partying man.. i look damn horrible and chan liao!!! (but still fat) ...but got plans tmr!! gonna get inked!!! drop la if u're workin. will be at kl

9:26 PM  

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