mou ichido kimi ni aitai

there are many things that is so wrong. i'm tired but awake at this godly hour. may be it's the waking up very early in the morning and comes home late at night. may be it's the heavy morning traffic. may be it's the rubbish that has to be put away far outside from the office at the end of the hallway. may be it's the 1 hour lunch time but colleagues just have to eat so fast and go back to office less than half an hour. feels like zero job satisfaction. the last time i checked, my appointment letter says i will be granted 7 days of annual leave upon confirmation and only legible to use it after a year. wtfzomg...what's that suppose to mean? i cannot have annual leave at all for a year? chi sin one lo....i haven't sign the letter and pass it back to the boss yet. i am still in "considering" about the whole thing... my parent thinks i should take on the job and just try it out, and if i do find a better one i can quit. i really don't know what to think. i don't want to work as a slave. i want to do something i am happy with. something i am proud of. unlike one of my close friend, she is in love with her job. i would kill to be in her shoes. hahaha dang...the world is so not fair i tell u and dragonball evolution sucks....i didn't like it. the lack of the original manga feel to it.

what am i going on about? i really miss those carefree time in nz. where reality is far away from my conscious. the fact of a matter, everything i do impacts the life i live so i can't just do reckless things and get away with it...i still have bills to pay, responsibilities to take care of. i wish the snow is right in front of me, grab my snowboard and hop on the lift and take the first run on the powder snow. not a care in the world. this craving for snow and riding is getting worst day by day. it's contagious, this love for snowboarding. it will certainly take a while to forget about you and the snow. may be i won't but i just need to be strong and get over this phase of life.

sometimes i feel like life is like an endless run.


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