pending dreams

i'm back on the wheels again despite the advice doc given on the knee (skateboarding keep me sane). lately, i have been thinking a lot about my future. more precisely, my job options and what i wanted to do. other than my current profession, those other possible options don't really pay me much or may be i'm just too chicken to try it out. the safest bet at the moment is go back to square one, back to my profession that help pays the bill, put food on the table and may be save a little on the side. there is also the thoughts of going back to study which will required a lot of money. i hated to ignore the fact that money plays a big role here. can't i afford to be more carefree? i guess i can if my bank is loaded with endless greens but that is altogether a different story.

doing what i love to do isn't going to cut it. those dreams are like endless re-play on an old cassette player replaying over and over again in my head. may be it's time i really need to remind myself that reality is what i need, not fantasy. it's so hard to stop thinking and doing the things that i love most. it's even harder than forgetting a person. my addiction to the snow is at a level no normal human can understand. unless they too have been there and done that and still craving for more like i do. if only there is a way one step closer to achieving what i want.

after watching the some snowboarding clips, it really made me reminisced the good times in nz. i miss new zealand dearly. the snow. the sheeps. the mountains. the people. i want to go back there someday.

aw. another interview tomorrow. part of me is not looking forward to it because i'm not sure if i'm doing it for the right cause. but that cause will definitely put food on the table. if i do, i too will become a human robot. no less different from the sheeps.