なぜ
once again, i am struck by life's question. what is the real meaning of life? is it by saving loads of money so we won't be troubled when we get older? or is it just by living life as it is and make everyday the last day you have? this morning, a teenage girl knock on my parent's door and ask if she could clean our house as we pay her in return. during lunch time, i overheard her conversation with my parents as they were asking her how come she was doing this and all. she told my parents that she never finish standard 6 because her family was poor and most of her sibblings are in town to earn a living. she is a descendant of bidayuh (native of borneo, also once known as the land dayak). she speaks good mandarin as she was attending a chinese school before she quitted. i feel bad and humble because i know it's not easy, life out there. reality is twisted. i feel that i am blessed for being able to study and even been to many countries. sometimes life is not always fair. look at me, i am never lucky at love. as i am typing away, my sister and her newly wed husband is enjoying their honeymoon in the island of gods. probably sipping some champagne by the beach or indonesian cheap booze and enjoying the 5 stars luxury hotel pampering. it's strange how money plays a big role in life, whether you like it or not. that the opposite sex is attracted to wealth, money and power. i wonder if i will grow old and just die with no one by my side. that no one will attend my funeral and such. i wonder what kind of person i will become. i want to be carefree, to be able to feel happiness again! to be free spirited...but lately, all i feel is emptiness inside of me. i was taken back to the state i once was before i embark on my backpacking trip. may be i should take the road less taken again and to find the meaning of life. may be i should. to be continued...
