a lot of things has happened since i left the land of the long white clouds. sometimes i cannot deny it was indeed a magical place. it was a place where i found myself again. i felt like i was belong again then. happy and sad moments i had. it has been almost 2 years since i left that happy place. i have no longer hear her happy laughters nor her warm touch. once a while, i still think of her like it was still yesterday. i've came to reality like how i left it 2 years ago. so it seems that i'm longing to travel and re-discover my inner self again. in this city of mist, i somehow lost the meaning of life. i am no longer the designer i used to be. my current life has been slow, a lil' more healthier and probably more boring. not much of excitement. it's like i'm coming to the end of my youth days. i also come to term that my carefree days will soon come to an end although i long for more. it is very subjective to each individual. being the eldest in the family also means i can't always be carefree. i have a duty as a son, to the mother whom long for my return, to a father that hopes the son becomes the father one day. all of these doesn't make it any easier. i'm not particularly good at relationships and seems to suck at it most of the time. i did move on with life after the amazing time i had with the her i met in the land of the long white clouds. the latest incident left me fresh wound, fallen, shaken, but still on my knee. i shall dust the dirts off and face myself in time. i know life is not always fair and square but i learn to live with it. my sensei is back in her home country and missing every bit of where she left and still dealing with the emotions. i believe the classmates missed her dearly and hope to see her again. i do hope to see her again the the near future. it was the reasons i long for the twice a week nihongo class where laughters and fun we had after a tiring day at work. people comes and goes, few stays, you just need to know who is real and true. other matters not.

trying to cope with the fact that araki sensei will be leaving malaysia for good.
trying to cope with the fact that this will be the last year to enjoy my 20s.
trying to cope with the fact that i am back to where i was before i set my journey to middle earth.

life is not as easy as it seems sometimes.