I feel a bit depressed the fact that I have not been able to get up the mountain since thursday. my season pass at mt hutt is only available for mid week (mon-fri). i really need to find something to do in this quiet little town. i don't know if it's just me or i'm too sensitive. i feel like my friend whom used to be closed to me has found new friends and kinda leave me aside or this particular friend of mine has always been like that. yesterday while having nothing better to do, i was walking in the town area and i bumped into this friend of mine and some other ppl i met up on the mountain. a normal reaction would be that friend would probably give u a hi or wave but that friend did not. i find it very odd. of cos i did wave to them. maybe she did not see me. maybe i'm just too sensitive. i do have some newly found friends in this town. there is heaps of ppl from my hostel. the thing is we were all quite close in the beginning. now everything seems to drift apart? maybe i have that tendency to be close to ppl whom i just met. just a bit upset and feeling neglected in some sense. maybe i'm too emo. i have not felt this way in a long time. the very last time i did feel this way was when i'm still back in my home country. the capital. big buzzling city life accompanied by this no so unfamiliar sense of loneliness. i can't help thinking and wanting to escape this feeling. this morning while flipping through some books at the hostel, i found a translated japanese book. it in, the writer seems to feel that the only way out of loneliness is through death. sounds very skeptical but sadly i found it quite true in some sense. i hate the feeling this way. never really good at it. i really wish i can get to know more ppl and maybe organize something fun to do together when we can't go up the mountain. i'm not the type of person who can sit still. i'm more of the on-the-run sort of person.
few days ago, i handed some documents to my boss as i need him to assist me with my work permit. i will wait patiently. i will also have to rent a car tomorrow or some time next week so i can go the the next town to have my X-ray scanned. it's incredibly stupid because the medical centre here told me they do full medical check up but can't do a X-ray for me? why is that? and they call themselves a medical centre?...sometimes i just don't understand. sometimes it seems very illogical.

it's been more than 3 weeks since i arrived in this little town called Methven. a lot of times, i do feel bored cos there is basically nothing much to do when the mt is closed due to certain days (bad weather and bad road conditions). the only thing to keep me occupied is by working. now i'm a cleaner at one of the lodges by day and waiter at the thai restaurant by night. last weekend was super busy for me as one of the waitress can't come in for work and she has to stay and look after the lodge as her owner was away for holiday. it's good money for me as i get to work more but the thing is i'm working 3 days non stop from 9am-9pm fri, sat and sun. i ended up sick. i had sore throat a day ago and fever last night (i caught a cold from the thai restaurant cos it was too cold). now i'm down with flu and cough. it's not so bad actually. i get to rest a day off instead of heading up to the mt for snowboarding. i really do like this town. the ppl are friendly. almost everyone knows everyone. it does bothers me a bit cos when a small town like this, rumours travel fast and that's not very good. not that there is any bad rumours going on about me but i just don't like that idea. today i will call up immigration and ask about my visa extension details. *fingers crossed*
i haven't gotten any reply from my mum since last week. i'm a bit upset. maybe she is busy at work. lol and i told them to give me a ring when they are free. it's crazy expensive to call home! i really hate not hearing any words from home since i try to make an effort to do so on my part. *hmmmp*
how is everyone back home? the only thing that concerns me now is my future. what will i do when i get home. i don't feel like going back to advertising again. it's a dog-eat-dog world.
more updates soon...